The one where my head exploded

January 27, 2009 at 2:58 pm (Family, Rhino, Wonder Boy, Wonder Girl)

I have very little to offer you as to why the long absence other than I’m not dead, nor did I run off to the land of endless margaritas and cabana boys. 

We all survived the Holidays even though I was sure I would end up in a padded room before the New Year.

Both child units were sufficiently spoiled and WB managed to eat through over $350 worth of groceries in a 2 week span.  And while I miss him now that he is back at school, my pocketbook is enjoying the reprieve.

Here is a lovely shot of my son enjoying everything University has to offer:

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Please note the appropriate ratio of boys to girls.  At least he has good taste in beer.

WG is doing amazing at school, having joined both the Volleyball and Drama programs.  She is currently experiencing her first ever week of exams, so the mood swings are enough to cause whip lash.

And the biggest change around here is that Rhino and I are no longer together.  The short version is I don’t share.

What this means for WG after the end of the school year remains to be seen but until then she will be staying with me and WB.

And rather than end this on that depressing note, as per Jen’s request, I give you Snorkeling in Wisconsin:

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12 Comments

Merry Ho Ho!!

December 24, 2008 at 10:05 am (Uncategorized)

There has been a long running joke here at the office about the “Employee of the Month”.  There are only four of us and one is the wanker, so the pool is small.

For Christmas the graphic designer, an eccentric Polish woman who requires a whole blog post on her own, made me a present.

She hand made me an award for every month of 2008.  On each “award” is the month, my name and the words, Employee of the Month.

I decided to don them a la Michael Phelps and email it to some people in the company.  Your Christmas present from me?  A picture of me with my “awards” and a muffin top I didn’t have when I got dressed in the morning.  WTF?!?

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!! 

CUE THE EXCESSIVE EATING & DRINKING.

7 Comments

Christmas Dinner #1

December 17, 2008 at 5:17 pm (Family, Wonder Boy, Wonder Girl)

Scene:   Sunday 1:30pm in my living room:

WB:  I don’t want to go.

Me:  Suck it up.  They are family and it will only be five hours out of your life.

Cue floppy fish imitation and high pitched whining.

WB:  But I don’t want to!!!

Me:  Until you’ve been tortured for 39 years by these people you have nothing to complain about.  Now shut it and finished getting dressed.

Scene:  20 minutes later in the kitchen.

Me:  What are you doing having a beer?!?!

WB:  Liquid courage baby.  You want some?

Me:  Get in the damn car you asshat.

Scene:  2 hours later in my sister’s kitchen.

WG:  Why does that one man keep referring to you as the bad daughter?

My Sis:  Did you want me to top up your wine Josie?

Me:  He’s old and senile WG.  Just ignore him and go play with the other kids.

My Sis:  *snort* He’s 52 hon.

Me:  He’s an inbred.

My Sis:  He’s family.  I’m sorry this is so hard on you.

Me:  Hey no worries.  My self esteem hasn’t taken a good beating in awhile.  I was due.

Scene: 90 min later; heard thru my sister’s kitchen window.

WB:  where’s Mom?

My Sis:  Out on the deck with a bottle of wine and Ed’s cigarettes.

WB: I told her to drink nefore we came.  I’m so going away next year.

My Sis:  No.  We’re just not inviting these people again.

Me from outside: Can I eat out here?  I’m kind of done hearing how I shamed the family by having a child out of wedlock 181/2 f*&^ing years ago.

Scene: 2 hours later, my living room.

Me:  Gah that was horrid.

WG:  Your family isn’t very friendly to you.  What’s up with that?

Me:  They are not family hon.  They are an obgligation.

WB:  An obligation that needs to be either neutered or killed off.  Care for a drink?

6 Comments

Just can’t let it go

December 10, 2008 at 4:23 pm (Wonder Boy)

A conversation last night between WB and I:

Me:  Please bring your camera & all the cords home.  Mine isn’t working.

WB:  Sure.  What are we taking pictures of?

Me:  Me smothering you with your pillow.

WB:  Haha

Me:  Laugh now.  Hard to do when you can’t breathe.

And today on Facebook:

WB Status:  is on his way home for the Holidays!!!

My comment:  did I mention I changed the locks?

Yeah, I think I’m still carrying a little animosity towards him from earlier this week….

5 Comments

Love and not so much lists

December 9, 2008 at 9:23 am (Stuff)

Things I’m loving right now:

Starbucks non fat pumpkin spice lattes

Homemade shortbread

How I Met Your Mother

Homemade 60 pepper hummus on Cracked Black Pepper and Olive Oil Triscuits.

The IPod I won and gave to WG to preserve my sanity

My new boots

My Gap Flirt jeans with just enough give for the aforementioned shortbread and lattes

Things that I could live without right now:

Self absorbed 18 year old boys who were raised better.

The Jonas Brothers – see aforementioned Ipod in love list.

The extra 5 pounds I’ve packed on in the last 3 weeks – damn shortbread.

School assignments.

The pilfering of my make up bag by a teen that shall remain nameless- WG!!

The -21C wind chills when winter doesn’t arrive till December 21st.

What’s on your love / not so much lists these days?

12 Comments

Rambling randomness

December 4, 2008 at 2:55 pm (Rhino, Stuff, Wonder Boy)

I went snowboarding this past week end with WG and my cousin.  And while I was advised to remember the correct procedure was snowboard, then drink – thanks Allison – I found falling on my ass didn’t hurt nearly as much when I had a couple Blueberry Tea’s in me.

I went and got my hair done – finally – last night and in a moment of weakness agreed to highlights.  Um, apparently my definition of subtle and my hairdresser’s are different.  Vastly different.  I may or may not have left several messages for friends along the lines of “OMG.  My Hair.  OMG.  I got highlights.  OMG.  What was I thinking???”  When I came into work this morning one of the guys was all “WTF?!?  Are you passing out sunglasses with that do?  Holy hell.”  That’s a pretty accurate reaction.  I normally have chocolate brown hair.  I now have chocolate brown hair with VERY BRIGHT RED highlights.  I’ve decided to tell people I’m in a festive mood.

WB is in the middle of writing exams and will be home on the 10th for 3 weeks.  I am beyond ecstatic that he is coming home.  Not just because I miss him but because I am slowly losing my mind trying to do everything by myself.

Which brings me to one of the major reasons I have been absent of late.  Rhino has been home maybe 3 week ends since the school year started.  3 week ends.  I have been doing the single parent thing since the second week of September with a lovely young lady who is a little on edge about her new living arrangements.  And then on edge about the lack of time she sees her Dad.  And then on edge about the fact her mother keeps trying to get her to say bad things about us.  And then on edge cause I’m on edge.

So while we have survived the past few months, barely, I feel that Iwe have let WG down in helping her get use to living with us.  Rhino and I have had many fights conversations about this issue, to no avail.  He has to work and can’t always make the drive.  This argument drives me slowly insane in that “Hi.  Remember me over here?  2 jobs, school and raising your daughter for you.”  The back and forth and back and forth has made me put up walls and just say “Fine.  Everything’s fine.” when asked.  Unfortunately its not FINE and I need to fix it.

While I hope to be here more often, right now I’m just trying to hold everyone together to get thru the Holidays.

8 Comments

Sickness, snow and a little wanker

November 18, 2008 at 1:17 pm (Uncategorized)

So far everyone but me has had the flu and/or the cold from hell.  I know its shocking that I haven’t caught it yet but I think that’s cause I haven’t sat down long enough for it to catch me.

WB is doing well at school but came home this past wknd to be taken care of by Mom, only to find WG had taken over the couch.  And while I still believe men make the worst patients, WG gave them a run for their money.  I do believe acting is in her immediate future.

Rhino drove 3 hours to be waited on hand and foot while he moaned and complained over his cold, only to discover he had been trumped by the kidlets.

And the snow.  Please.  It’s not winter yet – there are 33 more days till its official – and the temp today is -13C (8.6F) and we have snow on the ground.  With more to come.  I am sooo not ready for this shit.

Lots going on in the office.  A little over a week ago the wanker was put in his place not just by his boss but by our CEO as well.  Since that time he has bent over backwards to be nice to me.  Complimenting my work, not questioning my hours, etc.  Will this last?  I highly doubt it but am milking it for everything its worth right now:)

And just because, here is a picture of WB’s room at University, with a few extra people in it and showing clearly that tidiness is not his thing.

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5 Comments

Wedding pictures

November 10, 2008 at 3:56 pm (Family)

I’ll be back tomorrow to actually write something – I promise Jen!! – but till then I give you some wedding pictures from ohh, 6 weeks ago:)

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6 Comments

Randomness

October 28, 2008 at 2:32 pm (Friends, Wonder Boy)

A shout out and huge thank you to Jen for the gorgeous scarf she knit and I was lucky to buy from her Etsy shop.  She was also kind enough to send along some cute pins for WG and I. 

I would love to show you a picture but my camera has disappeared into the vortex formally known as WG’s room.  Not that I could round them all up for a picture, as they have been sucked into the same vortex as my camera.  So here is the picture of the scarf from Jen’s shop:

Gorgeous right?  And sooo warm and toasty.

As I have 2 papers due for tomorrow and a presentation to start for work – due tomorrow as well – I give you some shots of WB, a girl and his roommate.  Oh and for those that asked the nicknames are Panda (WB) and Muffin.  I have entitled this picture, Asian Muffin:

And the WB with a former girlfriend who is in the same program as he:

6 Comments

Bribery – the best parenting tool

October 27, 2008 at 3:38 pm (Family, Wonder Boy)

Managed to disrupt everyone’s lives by having to go to Boston for 6 days.

Came home to a house that looks like a bomb went off and a desk that I can not see.  In an effort to calm the troops, I have resorted to bribery.

WB and his room mate have nominated me for Mother of the Year.  I bought both boys these and had them engraved with their nicknames:

And WG is beginning to think that maybe, just maybe I’m not soo bad either.  Could be the fact that I am giving up my Saturday evening and my sanity to take her and 3 friends to see….

 

 

And the subsequent sleepover didn’t hurt.

As for Rhino, his request was pretty basic and all I can say is it may, just may bring me to within 25 minutes of Allison and Mimi within the next month:)

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