So I have agreed to something I swore I would never be okay with.  WB is home this weekend…..with his girlfriend.  For the whole weekend.  Sleeping together in my house.

Yes, I have officially lost it.

When WB called Wednesday night to say he wanted to come home for the weekend I was ecstatic.  When he asked if the GF could come…lost a little bit of the excitement.  We talked about it and if she couldn’t come, due to logistics for a camp party Friday night, he was going to forgo the party and stay at her place.

I haven’t seen my kid since the end of June.  I know I need to get use to this, as he is leaving for University but I’m not there yet.  It’s like I need to see him more because I know he’ll be gone in 34 days for good.

So, my child is cohabitating with his GF in my house.  Rhino has advised me to deal with it already - they’d be doing it no matter where they slept.

I’m dealing alright.  With Green Apple vodka.

This is my to do list since Saturday:

Groceries

Dress for wedding

Get pants taken in  (pick them up Thurs - a whole dress size smaller.  Thanks Gall Bladder!!!)

New make up bag

Find Passport!

Laundry

Get Rhino to finish laundry room before leaving

Pack Rhino’s bag for Monday (yes, I pack his bags…..)

Kill the wanker before going to Nashville as they have the death penalty and I’m not clear on extradition policies.

Post resume on Workopolis and Monster

Apply for 2 jobs at the University

Travel toothpaste, soap, shampoo, conditioner, qtips, bandaids.

Make arrangements for mail and newspaper

Put garbage out before leaving for airport

Arrange ride to airport

Blog

Necklace from Mom

Colour hair

American money

Included but not noted:  Working everyday at the office and Wed, Fri night and all day Sat at the pub.  Dinner with my Mom Thursday night.  Lunch with an old friend who is not well Sunday.  Little insane over here.  But did you notice laundry room completed was crossed off?!?!  Behold the beauty of my washer and dryer no longer being in my kitchen:

Who cares if I have no passport, ride to the airport, grey hairs or food in the house.  I have a laundry room

Last week when I was off it become quite clear to me that I was not using my front porch to its full potential.  Other than a sad looking hanging plant and a welcome mat - nothing.  The view from my front porch is an unobstructed look at Lake Ontario, with Toronto and Niagara Falls skylines in the distance.

Due to the area, there is quite a lot of foot traffic and I tend to not want the distraction when I’m outside reading a book, enjoying a drink or blogging on the laptop.  So, I have made my backyard a welcome retreat of tranquility.

The gardening is all my Mom and Rhino.  I kill everything.  And notice the no grass?  That was the best decision I ever made.

After complaining about my sad porch all week and not doing anything about it, Rhino took it upon himself to spruce it up.  This is what I came home to this afternoon…

Plants!  Furniture! 

Maybe if I start moaning endlessly about the basement not being done yet he’ll get that finished too?  Before he leaves on Monday?  I mean come on - my washer and dryer have been in the kitchen for a month now…..

Had the pleasure today of dealing with one of Ontario’s less than stellar health practitioner’s.  Today was the day to have my stitches removed and can I just say - it facking hurt.  I’ve had a lot of stitches / staples removed in my 38 years on this Earth and nothing like that.  The health practitioner’s comment - “Suck it up and stop being a baby.”  Love free medicare.  It’s definitely a “you get what you pay for” situation these days.

In the food arena, I have managed 2 pieces of toast with peanut butter, 2 individual yogurts and a salad.  I know this sounds like nothing but when you’ve been surviving off 500 calories a day for over a month - this is what’s filling.  And nothing hurt!  Oh, and a coffee!!!  I have missed my coffee.  So have my co workers

The wanker still refuses to find the time in his schedule to discuss my flex time in lieu of a raise, so I have just started coming in at 8am, working thru lunch (the norm) and leaving between 4 and 4:30.  Nothing has been said and I’m 3 days in.  I’m beginning to think he’s a little passive aggressive.

I leave for Nashville in 11 days for our Convention.  I hate this time of year.  Swamped with last minute stuff, daily workload, trying to get everything together to go, planning…too much!

And a priceless WB moment.  He called me at work and the following leaves me slightly afraid for his future:

WB:  My phone won’t turn on.

Me:  How are you calling me then?

WB:  From my cell (inferred “DUH”).

Me:  But you said it wouldn’t turn on.

WB:  It won’t.  It’s gone wonky.

Me:  If it won’t turn on, how are you calling me from it? (thinking either I’m dumb or he is).

WB:  UGGH.  From my cell.  It wouldn’t turn on even though I kept pressing the button.  Then it did.

Me:  Did you punch a different button the last time?

WB:  ……oh.  Maybe.

Me:  I told you not to spend so much time out in the heat without a hat.  Go sit in the shade and drink some water.  And maybe ask one of the 6 year old kids to show you how to turn on your phone.

WB:  No love.

Me:  Miss you.  Or not.

We have a new nickname for WG’s “mom”.  SkankyAssHo (SAH) compliments of Jen.  I do love Jen’s ability to be snarky.  You will soon learn how fitting the title actually is. 

I have refrained from blogging much about the on going legalities of getting WG to our house permanently in fear of backlash.  We have a signed agreement that has cleared the courts, so I am free to say what I please.  I also have permission from Rhino to vent on line.  I do believe that’s because he’s tired of me losing my shit on him.

First, the SAH showed up at WG’s grade 8 graduation in a leopard print slip dress with spiky heels.  She’s my age (almost 40) and has that overly tanned, too many vodka’s look about her.  She then proceeded to paw at Rhino and touch him through the entire ceremony and reception.  Didn’t matter what he did to uncling/claw from her, she was like Paris Hilton in front of a hand held video camera.  I was apparently transparent that night.  And to think I went to all the trouble of getting purty.

Apparently, SAH thought by reconnecting with Rhino, they might actually “reconnect” if you get my drift.  And the rock on my left hand and our cohabitation doesn’t seem to be a deterrent.  We are receiving calls at any given hour for and not limited to: car battery, plumbing issues, locked out, drunk and needs a ride home, lawnmower will not start, etc.  You get the drift.

Unless it directly pertains to WG’s well being - Rhino declines.  The 2:15am call from a bar because she was too drunk to drive home (thank god for some living brain cells!) - WG was already spending the night and I told her to call a cab.  Then turned the ringer down.

Her requests via her lawyer are laughable.  She wants 13 years of back child support.  For a child she hid from it’s father.  She expects to be rewarded for inexcusable and abhorrent behaviour.  Seems the sky is purple and raining $100 bills in her world.

We have settled on paying her 3 months of back mortgage payments, 2 credit card bills and the remaining 13 months of car payments.  I feel we’re being too generous but on the same hand would sell my house to get WG out from under her.  The woman is caustic and unhealthy.  I wish I could have some sympathy but I don’t.  She has no hidden deep dark secret.  She is not having mental issues.  She is a self absorbed, petty individual who only sought out Rhino so as to cash in on her child.

I would like to note here that she has a full time job at which she makes the same amount of money I make working 2 jobs.  If I can pay my bills, so can you SAH.  I also manage to supply food, recreation, clothing, a University education and one on one time with my kid.  It can be done so stop the whining.

The SAH parents are normal.  Scary normal considering what they produced.  WG’s Grandmother has already called me to introduce herself and to ensure they can still see WG.  As the relationship appears to be healthy and WG has expressed nothing but love for them, I assured her they would be no issues.  Something tells me these people are actually happy that their granddaughter is being taken moved away from their daughter.

Regardless of the drama, WG is coming to live with us as of August 23rd.  Permanently. 

WG is currently at WB’s camp and will be for 2 more weeks.  Then she is off to an Aunt’s in Bala for some R&R with cousins she loves and an Aunt and Uncle she can’t talk enough about.  We are going to co ordinate some days in between for decorating decisions on her room and shopping expeditions for accessories.  Official move in date is set and I can’t wait.  Finally someone to watch chick flicks (my secret love) with…sigh.

I just looked at my calendar and realized I have one teen moving in on the 23rd and one returning home to pack up his life and move on to his future on the same day.  Did not plan that emotional breakdown well now did I?

• Popped two stitches on Tuesday and lost 4 hours of my life in the ER while they called the Hospital I had it done in and debated whether I had to be readmitted.  A one point I offered to sew myself back up if it would speed things along.  And can we say, Rhino not good when it’s my blood.
• Tried a baked potato with some butter.  Felt like I had a cement brick in my stomach for 4 hours.
• Thursday started feeling nauseous whenever I ate.
• Friday went into the office for 3 hours.  It was like I had left a bunch of teenagers alone for a week.  Place was a disaster.
• When Rhino picked me up at noon, he had packed me a bag and we were off to the cottage for the week end.
• Spent the week end floating on a raft in the lake, sleeping in a hammock and generally being a bum.

Back in the office full time today.  Sooo wish I had booked 2 weeks off. 

As an added surprise, the wanker chose today to have my review.  It was fifteen minutes of how wonderful I am, how he could not see the office or Canadian division running smoothly without me, blah, blah, blah.  Then the kicker.  No raise.

So, trying to be a responsible adult I asked for another week’s vacation or flexible hours in return for no increase - not even the cost of living.  Didn’t even raise my voice.  Response - nada.  So, I am officially on the job hunt.  If you know of anything in the Toronto, Oakville, Burlington area let me know.

A lot has changed over here in the past week.

I had my gall bladder removed today.  The drugs provided are worth the price of admission.

WB is officially gone till August 23rd.  And then?  Packing to go to University August 30th.

Rhino will not be moving to Ottawa but telecommuting and only travelling there for 3 days a week.

We are working with the lawyer to move WG into our house full time ASAP.  This is a story on its own.

Back with more tomorrow when I can focus better on the keys

While we are excited, we are also overwhelmed.  Everything for all 4 of us is about to change dramatically and while talking about it over the week end was one thing - it’s now fact.

I want to thank all of you for your words of wisdom, support and friendship.

We shopped till we dropped on Saturday and made quite a dent in Rhino’s credit card - thanks hon!  We bought a lovely dress, shoes, purse, shawl and jewellery.  A visit to La Senza Girl without Rhino was had as well.  Neither WG or Rhino were comfortable with him being there while she picked out lingerie.

I convinced her to buy some capris and tops, as well as some cute sandals.  To say WG was overwhelmed by everything was evident when she started to cry in one of the change rooms.  After sniffing back a few tears myself and giving her a quick hug, I told her to suck it up as we were burning day light.  I do believe I am already falling in love with this young lady.

Sunday was my Mom’s 65th party at my place and was fun but tiring.  Do you know how annoying it is to make food you can’t eat?  Very!  Everyone had a fantastic time and my Mom was beyond happy that we went to the “trouble” for her.  Spare me.  If we hadn’t I never would of heard the end of it

WG was invited and came for about two hours.  She seemed overwhelmed by my family at first - which is any sane person’s initial reaction to the craziness - but she eventually found a niche pushing WB’s buttons.  Honestly, the ease with which she is fitting in with us astounds me.  And reconfirms my earlier feelings - she is a part of our family regardless.

Today has been chaotic.  I had to work, find the time to finish getting WB ready to leave for camp at 5pm and wait on pins and needles for the DNA results.  Sadly, we won’t know till tomorrow.

WB has opted to spend this week at camp for training and come home Friday night.  He wants to be here for my surgery on Monday, help with reorganzing living space if needed and/or spend some time with Rhino if he is moving.  That’s right, if he moves.  Everything is on hold right now while we wait.

And tonight I am addressing all my sister’s wedding invitations.  Yes, I’m a sucker.  150 wedding invitations and reply cards to address by Wednesday.  May require some vodka.

So Rhino took WG (Wonder Girl) for lunch after the traumatic DNA testing.  And they bonded.  To the point that if this is not his daughter, he will be maintaing contact.  His words:

“She’s funny, smart and almost as sarcastic as you.  I love her.  And she skateboards!!  And she loves R&B!!  Doesn’t matter if I’m her Dad or not, we’re staying in touch and you are going to meet her as well.  She hasn’t had it easy and she tries to hide it.  She needs someone like you and WB in her life regardless of circumstance.”

I love this man.

Apparently WG was wearing ill fitting clothes and had not had a haircut in 4 months.  Rhino fixed the haircut factor this afternoon.  She was trying to make everything sound rainbows and kittens about her life but Rhino kept poking holes in it.  Some of the revelations:

Her Mom repeatedly goes out any given night of the week and may or not come home.  If she comes home, it’s usually with male company.  She has missed school trips because of no money.  She is not attending her Grade 8 grad next week because of no money for a dress or the grad ticket.

My question?  If the father of your child is as easy to find as opening a f%^&ing phone book, why not tell him sooner, rather than let your child live this way?  I get being broke.  Been there.  I get being a single mom.  Been there.  I get being stressed out, lonely and nearing breaking point.  Been there.  I don’t get not doing whatever needs to be done to make sure your child is taken care of.

To quell the anger that is building within me everytime I hear something else about this situation, I told Rhino to call WG and tell her we would pick her up Saturday morning at 10am.  Assuming she’s ok with me, we’re going to buy that girl a dress, shoes, purse, jewellery and some fab underwear for next week and whatever else she happens to like.  And I contacted the office at the school and scored 4 tickets to Grad.  She’s going and the three of us will be there to cheer her on if no one else is.  If her Mom wants to go and can fit it into her “busy” schedule, WB will stay home.

Rhino is right.  It no longer matters whether WG is or isn’t part of him.  WG is about to become a permanent part of Josie World if she chooses.