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Eat single serving of low fat blueberry yogurt.

20 minutes later, double over in pain.

Eat 2 low sodium stone wheat crackers.  Plain!!

10 minutes later double over in pain.

Throw caution to the wind and drink a cup of coffee with skim milk to stay awake.

3 minutes later double over in pain.

Seriously, if my Dr can figure out how to remove this thing without me having to miss 2 weeks of work……I will give her my first flu infested, miserable, whiny, sucky, demanding, hasn’t-given-birth-so-shut-it eighteen year old.

Yeah, nothing’s changed since yesterday.  Okay, no cute baby pics but still the same.

• washed my face with Aveda Rosemary shaving gel in the shower this morning.
• poked myself in the eye with my mascara wand.
• left the house without my wallet.
• had to make the trip home and back to the bus stop for said wallet in -15C temps.
• transferred onto the wrong bus at the circle.
• arrived at work 15 minutes late.
• totally missed my mouth and spilt coffee down my chin and shirt.
• bit my tongue while eating my yogurt.
• forgot to wake my kid for his exam.
• dropped a 20lb box of paper on my foot.
• burnt the roof of my mouth on my soup at lunch.
• 2 paper cuts by 2pm.
• slipped on some ice on my way home.

Luckily the only person hurt by my dorkiness was me today.  I can only hope tomorrow will be better.

Decided to sneak out of work and hop on over to Starbucks for an afternoon pick me up.

As we got out of the car, I tripped, fell, broke my glasses and tore the skin off my elbow.

I am a klutz.  Anyone know where I can get a deal on a bubble outfit?

Since my lovely new neighbours have moved in, I have noticed, heard, been awoken by or cursed the following:

• The wall of beer cases that is forming on their front porch.  A month.  They have only been here a month and there are over 60 cases stacked out front.  And these cases?  They are multiplying at an alarming rate as there was one trip to return them about 2 1/2 weeks ago.   This is our future people.
• Constant stream of cars at any given time between the hours of Noon and 4am.  I figure they are either sleeping or maybe, just maybe,  attending a class or two during those 8 hours it seems like no one is home.
• Bed sheets for curtains and not clean or nice ones at that.
• Beer cans, liquor bottles and pizza boxes littering the back yard and somehow making the jump over the 7 ft privacy fence into my yard   Oh, and the odd pair of underwear.  I don’t ask, I just pull out the hazmet gloves.
• Fights!!  Oh, the late night fights.  Let me tell you, those university girls have lungs on them and the guys??  The use of the English language is enough to make their Grade 8 English teacher hang her head in despair.

And what does this all have to do with a grow op you ask?  Well, as cited by the 6 cruisers and vans with Special Task Force officers – my new neighbours have been growing quite the extensive collection of pot plants in the basement!!!  Can you hear the property values dropping?  The noise is deafening.

Sitting out back last Friday night, we noticed a lot of flashing lights coming from the front.  And then?  Yelling and people trying to run out the back of the house and climb my fence, only to be dragged back down by some 6ft 3 mountain of a man with a rifle.  Who says small towns are boring?

So like the nosy people we are, around the front we sauntered.  I had cruisers on my lawn!!  Officers with guns and rifles pointed at the front of the Frat House!!  Someone on a bull horn advising them they were surrounded and to come out with their hands up!!  I was in the middle of an episode of Cops with no makeup on and a hole in my sweatshirt.  Yep, I fit right in.

I had to answer a gazillion questions that highlighted how obtuse I am to things going on around me;  5 of the guys were hauled off and it took 2 days for the authorities to clean out the house, etc.  So 2 days of yellow police tape and cruisers out front.  I have become such a hick

When WB came home Friday night the following conversation ensued:

WB: What’s going on next door?

Me:  Apparently they were running a grow op and they got busted tonight.  You missed all the excitement.

WB:  Really?!?  Well that explains the other day.

Me:  The other day?

WB:  Yeah, some guy rang the door bell and asked me if this is the house where you buy the pot.

Me:  WTF?!?  And you’re just telling me now???

WB:  I told him to try next door and never saw him again, so I forgot about it.  What’s the big deal?

Me:  Obviously I’ve been lax in some of my parental duties.  For future, if someone stops by here trying to buy drugs, let me know.  Ok?

I wore my bra inside out all day.  All day.  My only question – how the hell did I get it done up this morning because I had a hell of a time getting it off.