Tidbits from the past 2 1/2 months

May 13, 2009 at 9:49 pm (Family, Rhino, Wonder Boy, Wonder Girl)

Well as most know, Rhino and I split up.  It was not a pretty, rainbows and unicorns break up.  And apparently the definition of break up is different in his world.  Other than communication about WG, as she has continued to live with me for the duration of the school year, there was to be NO CONTACT.

To me, this is pretty self explanatory.  To Rhino this meant calling in excess of 10 times a day; emailing; texting and waiting for me on my front porch at 6:30am in the morning.  This has slowly turned into  “I don’t know why your being such a hard ass about this?  I made a mistake.”  I’m curious to know how the girl he knocked up would feel about being called a mistake?

To say I did not handle this well would be a mild understatement.  At first I pretended I was fine.  Then I started not wanting to get out of bed.  Then the over eating.  And finally…the melt down.

Thankfully I am on the other side of that now.  10 pounds heavier, a few more grey hairs but happy again.  Small price to pay considering I was thinking of marrying him.  Thankfully dodged that bullet.

Rhino has moved back here and is living a couple blocks away.  The game plan is for WG to move in with him for the next school year.  She is not fully embracing this move but knows that her room will always be here for her and that she can stay over whenever.  I have tried to be positive about the move and I do truly hope it works but at the same time it will be awfully quiet around here without the giggling girls, blaring Jonas Brothers (shudder) and clothes strewn around as far as the eye can see.

On top of everything, in March, my son the smart University student rented a house with four other boys for the next school year.  While I realize this is a rite of passage and I am excited for him, the day he called me to tell me they had signed a lease without a single ADULT looking at it made my head explode.  I wasn’t the only parent questioning whether the $15K we had just spent on first year was a waste.  One mother called her son a tool and hung up on him.  She and I are now good friends.

The lease turned out to be simple and straight forward, the landlord a sweetheart.  Collective bunch of horseshoes up those boys’ asses.  But the house was not done causing drama.  The rent is $400 a month inclusive and I decided WB’s father was going to pony up 6 months of rent.  I mean seriously, the man has not paid a dime in child support, nor did he help out with first year.

So, I bit the bullet and called him.  It did not go well.  I realize your probably asking yourself “Did she really think it would?”  And no, I wasn’t expecting a walk in the park but nor was I expecting World War 3.  Suffice it say, we have not spoken in over 7 weeks.  But he did cough up rent – the WHOLE years worth.  Of course when he gave WB the cheques he added the “Your mother apparently can’t afford it” comment.  And you know what?  I don’t care.  He’s paying and its about fucking time.

I promise to be back tomorrow with more…especially the soap opera at the office.

And you know what?  I have soo missed this:)

7 Comments

The one where my head exploded

January 27, 2009 at 2:58 pm (Family, Rhino, Wonder Boy, Wonder Girl)

I have very little to offer you as to why the long absence other than I’m not dead, nor did I run off to the land of endless margaritas and cabana boys. 

We all survived the Holidays even though I was sure I would end up in a padded room before the New Year.

Both child units were sufficiently spoiled and WB managed to eat through over $350 worth of groceries in a 2 week span.  And while I miss him now that he is back at school, my pocketbook is enjoying the reprieve.

Here is a lovely shot of my son enjoying everything University has to offer:

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Please note the appropriate ratio of boys to girls.  At least he has good taste in beer.

WG is doing amazing at school, having joined both the Volleyball and Drama programs.  She is currently experiencing her first ever week of exams, so the mood swings are enough to cause whip lash.

And the biggest change around here is that Rhino and I are no longer together.  The short version is I don’t share.

What this means for WG after the end of the school year remains to be seen but until then she will be staying with me and WB.

And rather than end this on that depressing note, as per Jen’s request, I give you Snorkeling in Wisconsin:

image001

12 Comments

Rambling randomness

December 4, 2008 at 2:55 pm (Rhino, Stuff, Wonder Boy)

I went snowboarding this past week end with WG and my cousin.  And while I was advised to remember the correct procedure was snowboard, then drink – thanks Allison – I found falling on my ass didn’t hurt nearly as much when I had a couple Blueberry Tea’s in me.

I went and got my hair done – finally – last night and in a moment of weakness agreed to highlights.  Um, apparently my definition of subtle and my hairdresser’s are different.  Vastly different.  I may or may not have left several messages for friends along the lines of “OMG.  My Hair.  OMG.  I got highlights.  OMG.  What was I thinking???”  When I came into work this morning one of the guys was all “WTF?!?  Are you passing out sunglasses with that do?  Holy hell.”  That’s a pretty accurate reaction.  I normally have chocolate brown hair.  I now have chocolate brown hair with VERY BRIGHT RED highlights.  I’ve decided to tell people I’m in a festive mood.

WB is in the middle of writing exams and will be home on the 10th for 3 weeks.  I am beyond ecstatic that he is coming home.  Not just because I miss him but because I am slowly losing my mind trying to do everything by myself.

Which brings me to one of the major reasons I have been absent of late.  Rhino has been home maybe 3 week ends since the school year started.  3 week ends.  I have been doing the single parent thing since the second week of September with a lovely young lady who is a little on edge about her new living arrangements.  And then on edge about the lack of time she sees her Dad.  And then on edge about the fact her mother keeps trying to get her to say bad things about us.  And then on edge cause I’m on edge.

So while we have survived the past few months, barely, I feel that Iwe have let WG down in helping her get use to living with us.  Rhino and I have had many fights conversations about this issue, to no avail.  He has to work and can’t always make the drive.  This argument drives me slowly insane in that “Hi.  Remember me over here?  2 jobs, school and raising your daughter for you.”  The back and forth and back and forth has made me put up walls and just say “Fine.  Everything’s fine.” when asked.  Unfortunately its not FINE and I need to fix it.

While I hope to be here more often, right now I’m just trying to hold everyone together to get thru the Holidays.

8 Comments

This was so not worth the wait

October 1, 2008 at 1:52 pm (Family, Rhino, Wonder Boy)

A few individuals, who shall not remain nameless – Jen and Allison –, are holding me to a promise I made in emails last week to finally clear the cobwebs off and update.

 

So, in no particular order:

 

WG is starting to adjust to living with us.  This has not been a totally seamless process and I do believe I had deluded myself into thinking it wouldn’t be that bad.  We are still having a few trust issues but for the most part I think she knows we’re in it for the long haul.  At issue now is if my sanity survived the past 5 weeks.

 

WB loves University.  He’s taken to it like a fish to water.  This was never more evident then when he emailed me last week to let me know what needed restocking:

 

Water

Ice Tea

Shampoo

Booze

 

And as evidenced in this picture, taken before a football game:

 

 

Rhino is not buried in the backyard.  I do have a spot picked out though, so he should be careful.  Other than being home this past week end for my sister’s wedding, Rhino has spent 28 of the last 37 days in Ottawa or Vancouver.  Neither of us is handling this well.  We spend more time bickering or out and out ignoring each other than getting along.  Our relationship at the moment is at about a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10.

 

Me.  I have been fighting my way thru single parenting, work, school, planning my sister’s wedding and a particularly bad Lupus episode that has me 18 pounds lighter than I was at the end of August.  I am also in a place I have not been in quite sometime.  I am questioning my ability to parent.  My ability to juggle everything effectively so no one loses out.  My ability to be a decent girlfriend to Rhino.  My sanity. 

I have been in a funk for the past 10 days that I can not shake.  I am going thru the motions of everyday life and yet I feel removed from everything.  I can’t explain it and I can’t get past it.  And I’m worried that I won’t.

7 Comments

How to….

September 15, 2008 at 10:14 am (Rhino, Work)

get fired in under 5 minutes:

“You know wanker, playing in traffic would be less painful than trying to deal with you on a regular basis.”

No, I didn’t get fired but only because I seem to be stuck here working off some very bad Karma.

piss off your girlfriend in under 30 minutes:

Call me 7 times between 7am and 7:30 am on a Monday morning.  When I don’t answer on the 7th try, leave a snarky message that includes the phrase “I don’t know what your problem is…”

This will be followed up with the following message on your voice mail:

“I don’t have a problem asshole, well, other than you at the moment.  I was busy getting YOUR DAUGHTER ready for school and myself for work.  Seeing as both of us are still on edge from this wknd, lets call it a wash and try this communication thing again tomorrow.”

Things are just peachy up here.  Honest.

7 Comments

Week end wrap up

August 4, 2008 at 10:16 pm (Rhino, Stuff, Wonder Boy)

First – I wasn’t looking to hang Rhino out to dry but I was somewhat bummed none of my friends were there.  And now he’s in the shit books with 2 of my girlfriends for not being invited.  I did have a good time and he was rewarded accordingly :)  for going to the trouble of organizing the whole affair.

WB gave me a cute card that went something along the lines of “Another birthday?  Jeez!  What are you, 31? 32?”  Love that boy dearly for shaving 6+ years off.  He also bought me a gift card to the local book store.

The week end was busy, what with work, birthday dinners and trying to get as much bought for University today as possible.  WB and I managed to spend 3 hours shopping without an argument or me losing my mind.  Maybe he is growing up?  Or maybe I’m getting too old to care.

We bought a bed in a bag ($50!), 2 pillows, 20 pairs of underwear and socks, 4 shirts, $60 worth of toiletries, a new laptop bag and school supplies.  My Visa is more than a little worse for wear.

WG is up north visiting with her Aunt, Uncle and cousins.  She will be there for a couple weeks.  If I was ever questioning our decision to take custody of her, that all went up in smoke when I opened my email this morning.  She had sent me the following:

“Josie, thank you for giving me the best summer of my life.  Camp was awesome and I made so many new friends.  I can’t wait to move in and paint my room with you.  Thank you for loving my dad and accepting me.”

Tears folks.

I hope the men in this house are ready for the shift in hormones.

8 Comments

Dinner with Rhino

August 3, 2008 at 7:24 pm (Rhino)

Here’s one for the internets:

The Saturday of the week end before your birthday.  Your fiance has come home for 4 days and tells you to be ready to go out for a romantic evening Saturday at 8pm.

You come home from working 10 hours, shower, shave, moisturize, spend extra time on the hair and makeup, slip into something sexy and a pair of heels. 

You arrive at a swanky restaurant.  Upon entering the restaurant you realize the big table by the window is full of his friends, with their significant others and two people from work with their spouses.  They are all there to help celebrate your birthday.  Only none of them are “your” close friends.

Do you not mention it or do you remind him the malls are open on the Holiday Monday?

5 Comments

My porch

July 10, 2008 at 8:26 pm (Rhino)

Last week when I was off it become quite clear to me that I was not using my front porch to its full potential.  Other than a sad looking hanging plant and a welcome mat – nothing.  The view from my front porch is an unobstructed look at Lake Ontario, with Toronto and Niagara Falls skylines in the distance.

Due to the area, there is quite a lot of foot traffic and I tend to not want the distraction when I’m outside reading a book, enjoying a drink or blogging on the laptop.  So, I have made my backyard a welcome retreat of tranquility.

The gardening is all my Mom and Rhino.  I kill everything.  And notice the no grass?  That was the best decision I ever made.

After complaining about my sad porch all week and not doing anything about it, Rhino took it upon himself to spruce it up.  This is what I came home to this afternoon…

Plants!  Furniture! 

Maybe if I start moaning endlessly about the basement not being done yet he’ll get that finished too?  Before he leaves on Monday?  I mean come on – my washer and dryer have been in the kitchen for a month now…..

5 Comments

Highlights from my week of recovery

July 7, 2008 at 8:03 pm (Rhino, Stuff, Work)

  • Popped two stitches on Tuesday and lost 4 hours of my life in the ER while they called the Hospital I had it done in and debated whether I had to be readmitted.  A one point I offered to sew myself back up if it would speed things along.  And can we say, Rhino not good when it’s my blood.
  • Tried a baked potato with some butter.  Felt like I had a cement brick in my stomach for 4 hours.
  • Thursday started feeling nauseous whenever I ate.
  • Friday went into the office for 3 hours.  It was like I had left a bunch of teenagers alone for a week.  Place was a disaster.
  • When Rhino picked me up at noon, he had packed me a bag and we were off to the cottage for the week end.
  • Spent the week end floating on a raft in the lake, sleeping in a hammock and generally being a bum.

Back in the office full time today.  Sooo wish I had booked 2 weeks off. 

As an added surprise, the wanker chose today to have my review.  It was fifteen minutes of how wonderful I am, how he could not see the office or Canadian division running smoothly without me, blah, blah, blah.  Then the kicker.  No raise.

So, trying to be a responsible adult I asked for another week’s vacation or flexible hours in return for no increase – not even the cost of living.  Didn’t even raise my voice.  Response – nada.  So, I am officially on the job hunt.  If you know of anything in the Toronto, Oakville, Burlington area let me know.

9 Comments

Change

June 30, 2008 at 8:23 pm (Family, Rhino)

A lot has changed over here in the past week.

I had my gall bladder removed today.  The drugs provided are worth the price of admission.

WB is officially gone till August 23rd.  And then?  Packing to go to University August 30th.

Rhino will not be moving to Ottawa but telecommuting and only travelling there for 3 days a week.

We are working with the lawyer to move WG into our house full time ASAP.  This is a story on its own.

Back with more tomorrow when I can focus better on the keys:)

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