Tidbits from the past 2 1/2 months

May 13, 2009 at 9:49 pm (Family, Rhino, Wonder Boy, Wonder Girl)

Well as most know, Rhino and I split up.  It was not a pretty, rainbows and unicorns break up.  And apparently the definition of break up is different in his world.  Other than communication about WG, as she has continued to live with me for the duration of the school year, there was to be NO CONTACT.

To me, this is pretty self explanatory.  To Rhino this meant calling in excess of 10 times a day; emailing; texting and waiting for me on my front porch at 6:30am in the morning.  This has slowly turned into  “I don’t know why your being such a hard ass about this?  I made a mistake.”  I’m curious to know how the girl he knocked up would feel about being called a mistake?

To say I did not handle this well would be a mild understatement.  At first I pretended I was fine.  Then I started not wanting to get out of bed.  Then the over eating.  And finally…the melt down.

Thankfully I am on the other side of that now.  10 pounds heavier, a few more grey hairs but happy again.  Small price to pay considering I was thinking of marrying him.  Thankfully dodged that bullet.

Rhino has moved back here and is living a couple blocks away.  The game plan is for WG to move in with him for the next school year.  She is not fully embracing this move but knows that her room will always be here for her and that she can stay over whenever.  I have tried to be positive about the move and I do truly hope it works but at the same time it will be awfully quiet around here without the giggling girls, blaring Jonas Brothers (shudder) and clothes strewn around as far as the eye can see.

On top of everything, in March, my son the smart University student rented a house with four other boys for the next school year.  While I realize this is a rite of passage and I am excited for him, the day he called me to tell me they had signed a lease without a single ADULT looking at it made my head explode.  I wasn’t the only parent questioning whether the $15K we had just spent on first year was a waste.  One mother called her son a tool and hung up on him.  She and I are now good friends.

The lease turned out to be simple and straight forward, the landlord a sweetheart.  Collective bunch of horseshoes up those boys’ asses.  But the house was not done causing drama.  The rent is $400 a month inclusive and I decided WB’s father was going to pony up 6 months of rent.  I mean seriously, the man has not paid a dime in child support, nor did he help out with first year.

So, I bit the bullet and called him.  It did not go well.  I realize your probably asking yourself “Did she really think it would?”  And no, I wasn’t expecting a walk in the park but nor was I expecting World War 3.  Suffice it say, we have not spoken in over 7 weeks.  But he did cough up rent – the WHOLE years worth.  Of course when he gave WB the cheques he added the “Your mother apparently can’t afford it” comment.  And you know what?  I don’t care.  He’s paying and its about fucking time.

I promise to be back tomorrow with more…especially the soap opera at the office.

And you know what?  I have soo missed this:)

7 Comments

The one where my head exploded

January 27, 2009 at 2:58 pm (Family, Rhino, Wonder Boy, Wonder Girl)

I have very little to offer you as to why the long absence other than I’m not dead, nor did I run off to the land of endless margaritas and cabana boys. 

We all survived the Holidays even though I was sure I would end up in a padded room before the New Year.

Both child units were sufficiently spoiled and WB managed to eat through over $350 worth of groceries in a 2 week span.  And while I miss him now that he is back at school, my pocketbook is enjoying the reprieve.

Here is a lovely shot of my son enjoying everything University has to offer:

ty

 

Please note the appropriate ratio of boys to girls.  At least he has good taste in beer.

WG is doing amazing at school, having joined both the Volleyball and Drama programs.  She is currently experiencing her first ever week of exams, so the mood swings are enough to cause whip lash.

And the biggest change around here is that Rhino and I are no longer together.  The short version is I don’t share.

What this means for WG after the end of the school year remains to be seen but until then she will be staying with me and WB.

And rather than end this on that depressing note, as per Jen’s request, I give you Snorkeling in Wisconsin:

image001

12 Comments

Christmas Dinner #1

December 17, 2008 at 5:17 pm (Family, Wonder Boy, Wonder Girl)

Scene:   Sunday 1:30pm in my living room:

WB:  I don’t want to go.

Me:  Suck it up.  They are family and it will only be five hours out of your life.

Cue floppy fish imitation and high pitched whining.

WB:  But I don’t want to!!!

Me:  Until you’ve been tortured for 39 years by these people you have nothing to complain about.  Now shut it and finished getting dressed.

Scene:  20 minutes later in the kitchen.

Me:  What are you doing having a beer?!?!

WB:  Liquid courage baby.  You want some?

Me:  Get in the damn car you asshat.

Scene:  2 hours later in my sister’s kitchen.

WG:  Why does that one man keep referring to you as the bad daughter?

My Sis:  Did you want me to top up your wine Josie?

Me:  He’s old and senile WG.  Just ignore him and go play with the other kids.

My Sis:  *snort* He’s 52 hon.

Me:  He’s an inbred.

My Sis:  He’s family.  I’m sorry this is so hard on you.

Me:  Hey no worries.  My self esteem hasn’t taken a good beating in awhile.  I was due.

Scene: 90 min later; heard thru my sister’s kitchen window.

WB:  where’s Mom?

My Sis:  Out on the deck with a bottle of wine and Ed’s cigarettes.

WB: I told her to drink nefore we came.  I’m so going away next year.

My Sis:  No.  We’re just not inviting these people again.

Me from outside: Can I eat out here?  I’m kind of done hearing how I shamed the family by having a child out of wedlock 181/2 f*&^ing years ago.

Scene: 2 hours later, my living room.

Me:  Gah that was horrid.

WG:  Your family isn’t very friendly to you.  What’s up with that?

Me:  They are not family hon.  They are an obgligation.

WB:  An obligation that needs to be either neutered or killed off.  Care for a drink?

6 Comments

Wedding pictures

November 10, 2008 at 3:56 pm (Family)

I’ll be back tomorrow to actually write something – I promise Jen!! – but till then I give you some wedding pictures from ohh, 6 weeks ago:)

tyme2

family

kyleme

kateandeddy

6 Comments

Bribery – the best parenting tool

October 27, 2008 at 3:38 pm (Family, Wonder Boy)

Managed to disrupt everyone’s lives by having to go to Boston for 6 days.

Came home to a house that looks like a bomb went off and a desk that I can not see.  In an effort to calm the troops, I have resorted to bribery.

WB and his room mate have nominated me for Mother of the Year.  I bought both boys these and had them engraved with their nicknames:

And WG is beginning to think that maybe, just maybe I’m not soo bad either.  Could be the fact that I am giving up my Saturday evening and my sanity to take her and 3 friends to see….

 

 

And the subsequent sleepover didn’t hurt.

As for Rhino, his request was pretty basic and all I can say is it may, just may bring me to within 25 minutes of Allison and Mimi within the next month:)

7 Comments

Thanksgiving week end a la Josie

October 15, 2008 at 1:37 pm (Family)

Friday

WB’s commencement was Friday night and in some irrational moment I had agreed to have dinner with just WB and his Father (J).  Yes, this would be the same man I have not had a civil word with in over 5 years and who has not contributed to WB’s upbringing in over 10 years.

Dinner started out somewhat awkward but soon became bearable as WB regaled us with stories of University.  Everything was actually going well till J made some comment about me being a cheapskate.  Lost my shit people.  In front of my kid.  Not cool.

The evening continued along the path to doom when my Mother said to J “You and Josie have done such a wonderful job raising WB.”  Are you fucking kidding me?  My sister pinched my arm and whispered in my ear “You can kill her Sunday.  Tonight is for WB.”  I bit my tongue soo hard I tasted blood.

Then, in the ultimate end to the evening, J left half way thru as he’d been there “long enough” and my mother left shortly after as she had not eaten before hand.  My sister went with her.  By the time I met up with WB in the cafeteria I was beyond anger.  His response?  “You’re here and that’s all that matters.”  Sniff, sniff.

Saturday

Worked an eight hour shift at the pub and then the four of us (yes Rhino is still alive at this point) went to the worst hockey game I have ever had the misfortune of sitting thru.  The Leafswere clobbered 6-1 by the dirty Habs.  My only consolation that evening?  Alison’s Senators lost too:)

Sunday

Made scalloped potatoes and a pumpkin pie to take to my sister’s for dinner.  Called around looking for WB who had gone out once home from the horrible hockey game and was still missing at 10:30 Sunday morning.  Mission for today before dinner?  Go shoe shopping with WB.

In the shocker of the century, WB and I manage to spend $275 on shoes, a belt, 2 shirts, a sweater and a coat in under an hour.  No arguments.  No hair pulling.  No Josie curled up in the corner sucking her thumb.  Maybe WB one of us is maturing.

Dinner is a disaster.  Not the food.  The conversation between my Mother and I.  After 3 a glass of wine, I brought up her comment to J on Friday night.  Her response?  “I was just trying to be nice to him.  he looked uncomfortable.”  My uncensored response?  “So you chose instead to stab your own flesh and blood in the fucking back?  Hate to see what you’d do to someone you hadn’t given birth to.”

Monday

Two hours of packing WB to go back to school.  Six loads of laundry (seriously kid); $150 worth of groceries and $100 worth of liquor and beer.  Ship him off at 1pm.  An hour packing up Rhino.  Ship him off at 3pm.  45 minute drive to pick WG up from her Grandparents.  Finally sit down on the couch at 7pm.  Throat starts to hurt around 8:30pm.  By 10pm have a full blown fever.  Yep, the antibiotics I finished on Friday really worked well.  Full blown strep.  AGAIN.

5 Comments

This was so not worth the wait

October 1, 2008 at 1:52 pm (Family, Rhino, Wonder Boy)

A few individuals, who shall not remain nameless – Jen and Allison –, are holding me to a promise I made in emails last week to finally clear the cobwebs off and update.

 

So, in no particular order:

 

WG is starting to adjust to living with us.  This has not been a totally seamless process and I do believe I had deluded myself into thinking it wouldn’t be that bad.  We are still having a few trust issues but for the most part I think she knows we’re in it for the long haul.  At issue now is if my sanity survived the past 5 weeks.

 

WB loves University.  He’s taken to it like a fish to water.  This was never more evident then when he emailed me last week to let me know what needed restocking:

 

Water

Ice Tea

Shampoo

Booze

 

And as evidenced in this picture, taken before a football game:

 

 

Rhino is not buried in the backyard.  I do have a spot picked out though, so he should be careful.  Other than being home this past week end for my sister’s wedding, Rhino has spent 28 of the last 37 days in Ottawa or Vancouver.  Neither of us is handling this well.  We spend more time bickering or out and out ignoring each other than getting along.  Our relationship at the moment is at about a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10.

 

Me.  I have been fighting my way thru single parenting, work, school, planning my sister’s wedding and a particularly bad Lupus episode that has me 18 pounds lighter than I was at the end of August.  I am also in a place I have not been in quite sometime.  I am questioning my ability to parent.  My ability to juggle everything effectively so no one loses out.  My ability to be a decent girlfriend to Rhino.  My sanity. 

I have been in a funk for the past 10 days that I can not shake.  I am going thru the motions of everyday life and yet I feel removed from everything.  I can’t explain it and I can’t get past it.  And I’m worried that I won’t.

7 Comments

The last 24 hours

September 10, 2008 at 11:54 am (Family, Stuff, Wonder Boy, Work)

I was offered a better paying job in our office in NH.

I have slept 1.25 hours.

I wrote a 20 page Economics paper on a topic I’m not 100% up on.  BS for about 10 pages.

Rhino is off to Ottawa even though HE WAS SUPPOSE TO BE HERE TILL THE 15TH.

Ummm, teenage girls?  They are loud, emotional, messy and just a tad bit irrational.  It’s like looking at myself 20+ years ago.

Major shit happening at work.

My dishwasher is leaking and the person who was suppose to fix it LEFT FOR OTTAWA EARLY.

WB is suffering absolutely no pangs about leaving home.  Me?  Still the odd sniffle.

Slammed my arm in the car door.  The Dr at the clinic lectured me on spousal abuse for 30 minutes.

I am beginning to sound more and more like a whiny teenage girl.

Send vodka.

8 Comments

The perfect call

August 22, 2008 at 4:08 pm (Family)

His name is Jeremy.

He is outgoing, sweet and intelligent.

He is always there with a warm enveloping hug.  A kind word.  A smile.

He is my younger cousin.

He is an addict.

An addict who I have not heard from or seen in four months.

I am the only family still willing to talk to him, see him, feed him and love him faults and all.

He called Wednesday night from a pay phone in Toronto.  I missed the call.  I have replayed the message twenty times.  “Hey Jo, it’s your favourite cousin Jer.  I’ll call tomorrow night.”

He didn’t call and I started to worry.  And think the worst.  And lose sleep.

Then he called this afternoon.

He’s in rehab.  Has been for three months but he didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.  He’s graduating next Friday.  His voice is clear and strong.  He will be moving to a rehab house and has a job.

And even though I should be packing the boy for school, I will be at his graduation to help him celebrate.

9 Comments

Lists

August 22, 2008 at 10:04 am (Family, Stuff)

That’s what my life has become.

A list of what I still need to buy WB to take with him to University on the 30th.

A list of what WG needs before school starts on the 2nd.

A list of “room renovation” supplies as we start decorating WG’s room this weekend.

A grovery list, as I have been living the single life for two weeks.  The non existent contents of my fridge will not satisfy the spawn.

A list of what needs to be finished at work, as I am off as of Wednesday for a couple days.

Cripes, even this post looks like a list.

I need help.  Rhino, if you’re reading this, get your ass home.  I’ve become my mother.

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