No Internal Editor

I need to start this post with the following disclaimer:

**Yes I have a job.  Yes I am happy to still have a full time job that has benefits.  Yes I realize things could be a hell of a lot worse.  Yes I am being a whiner.  But this is my reality to whine about.**

I love my job in the sense that no day is ever the same, I am constantly learning new things and get to deal with a awesome group of people for the most part.

That said, my boss the wanker is a tool and the recent onslaught of cutbacks, pay freezes, etc is enough to make a girl want to just throw in the towel.

A little over a year ago we laid off over 100 people.  As a direct result, my responsibilities increased 50%.  The layoffs occurred right around the time of my annual review.  Needless to say I was not surprised when I was told there would be no pay increase that year.  I sucked it up, enrolled in a couple of University courses and was happy just knowing they would pay me back for that.

Fast forward to two months ago.

We laid off another 35 people.  None in our office as its already a skeleton crew to begin with.  With these new layoffs came job consolidations and some additional new responsibilities.  I was offered a new job, complete with a shiny new title and a whopping amount of additional responsibility.  The kicker?  No money.  Oh, and no more money for school.

There was no option to turn this down.  It was pretty much, “If you can’t do it, we will find someone who will.”  And lets be honest.  I have bills and kids to take care of.  This adult thing sucks monkey balls.

So, I put in the extra hours and worked week ends to get myself up to speed on all the new programs I was responsible for (on top of my already existing job) and thought I had a pretty good hold on everything.  Figured I would suck it up till the new fiscal year and ask for an increase then.  I would have proved I could handle the job and the money sacrifice.

And then the other shoe dropped.  Three weeks ago we found out we had to take a pay cut – 10%.  It’s across the board.  Management and worker bees.

So now, essentially, I am carrying twice the work load since I started four years ago and making just slightly more than when I started.  And I’m pissed.  Frustrated.  Disappointed.  Stressed.

Yes I have a second job but I have that for a reason.  95% of that income goes to pay for WB University costs.

This doesn’t even really have anything to do with money.  It has to do with an overwhelming frustration towards work that I have been carrying around for a couple weeks now.  I dread going in.  Usually have a headache by noon and have been known to come home and bite people’s heads off for absolutely no reason.

I’m just disillusioned and feeling stuck.