Young love, ain’t it grand

July 31, 2008 at 9:49 pm (Wonder Boy, Work)

So last Wednesday afternoon I’m slaving away on the Convention floor when my cell starts vibrating.  And vibrating.  And vibrating.  Not really an unusual occurrence as I was in charge of coordinating photography and all IT requests.  But unusual in that it wouldn’t stop.

I checked and I had 5 text messages from WB.  This is odd in that with him at camp, I rarely hear from him.  As I started reading the text’s, my phone started to ring.  My mother.  First thought “He’s hurt.  Someones died.”  I know, I shouldn’t think the worse, but I’m a Mom and 2000km away from her youngin.

Me: What’s up Mom?

Mom:  Something is wrong with WB.  He showed up on my door step an hour ago and says he’s taking the rest of the week off camp.  He says you’ll tell me what’s wrong.

Me:  Well I have a bunch of texts from him that I haven’t read.  Is he bleeding or sick?

Mom:  No.  Just very quiet.

Me:  Give me 10 and I’ll call you back.

So, I read the text messages.  To summarize:  WB and Kelsi broke up.  He was the breaker.  Apparently they had been fighting for the past couple weeks.  The crux of the matter?  Her insecurities and possessiveness.  They both work at the same camp and if she saw him talking to a female counsellor, she grilled him about it.  WB is not a fighter and not a big talker.

The keeper line from all the text msgs though?  “Can you pls tell the females in this family.  I am male and feel no need to rehash my feelings fifteen times over.”  Classic.  WB is the first male on my family’s side in 20 years.

So, I called my Mom.  Told her what the deal was and to leave him to his own devices and not push the issue.  Called my sister who was texting me frantically about WB at this point.  Her response?  “I am sure he is heartsick over this and time will heal.”  He’s 18.  Not 35 being taken for everything he has by a starter wife.  Drama apparently is in the genes.

Then the text msgs from the now ex GF started.  What do you do with those?  We had a semi relationship, nothing concrete.  No girls day out.  In an act of cowardice I told her I was out of town and didn’t know what she was talking about.

Seriously.  I was on my phone for an hour due to my now adult son breaking up with his girlfriend.  I mentioned I had a son right?  Less drama apparently.  Love to see what went on at her house.

So then WB, the break uper calls her to make sure she’s ok.  Then texts me because she hung up on him.  We had to do a session of Break Up 101 on the Convention floor.  How, unless she calls you after you break up with her – stay as far away as humanly possible.  Dude – you BROKE UP with her.

Then I had a glass of wine.

And then….I received pics of him with his new GF.  That would be the blonde in the photos on the previous post.  Boys are easier my ASS.

Honestly….I won’t survive WG and boyfriends.  I won’t.

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Stuff Part 3456- subsection a

July 31, 2008 at 2:12 pm (Wonder Boy, Work)

First – the Nude Karaoke involved strippers singing, not regular patrons.  I was all game to go in until the bouncer informed me of the strippers and followed up with: ”Ma’am, this is not a place for a good woman like you.”  Why thank you sir.

Second – Cooter’s is a Duke’s of Hazzard museum on a strip of road in the middle of bum f*ck nowhere.  The only thing beside it was a liquor store (thank god for low priced vodka and yes I smuggled more than I should’ve home) and an Elvis museum.

The bouncer?  He worked at the Coyote Ugly we went to Thursday night and was hilarious.  He looks all mean and scary but throw him a smile, a ”Hey handsome” and he was putty in your hands:)  Helped me up and off the bar more times than i care to admit.

As I am still swimming under a mountain of work from being gone for over a week, I give you a photo montage of WB busy at work.  Depending on how long you’ve been stopping by, you may notice some similarities between this year and last year.  Same tongue out poses, different swim trunks.  My child, he is predictable.

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Josie’s Nashville in photos

July 29, 2008 at 8:34 am (Work)

I’ve got bronchitis folks.  Compliments of too much air conditioning and not enough sleep.  Maybe a little partying:)  Here are some of my favourite shots from the trip.

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Nashville Day 1

July 20, 2008 at 11:37 pm (Work)

No pics till I get back as I remembered the camera but forgot the USB cord.  And did I mention we were 20 minutes en route to the airport this morning when I realized I didn’t have my passport??  HATE travelling for work.

While so far everyone in Nashville has been wonderful and I found a liquor store on the way from the airport….the heat.  It is 100F at 10:30 CDT at night.  This is not normal.

And it’s just going to get worse.  It’s suppose to hit 110F on Wednesday.  The humidity is worse than Ontario.  It’s next to impossible to breathe.  I realize your blood thins and the body adapts but holy hell, it’s like living in a steam bath.

Another trip to the liquor store is the only way to make it thru.

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I want off the ride

July 18, 2008 at 11:04 pm (Wonder Boy)

So I have agreed to something I swore I would never be okay with.  WB is home this weekend…..with his girlfriend.  For the whole weekend.  Sleeping together in my house.

Yes, I have officially lost it.

When WB called Wednesday night to say he wanted to come home for the weekend I was ecstatic.  When he asked if the GF could come…lost a little bit of the excitement.  We talked about it and if she couldn’t come, due to logistics for a camp party Friday night, he was going to forgo the party and stay at her place.

I haven’t seen my kid since the end of June.  I know I need to get use to this, as he is leaving for University but I’m not there yet.  It’s like I need to see him more because I know he’ll be gone in 34 days for good.

So, my child is cohabitating with his GF in my house.  Rhino has advised me to deal with it already – they’d be doing it no matter where they slept.

I’m dealing alright.  With Green Apple vodka.

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The never ending to do list

July 15, 2008 at 8:13 pm (Stuff)

This is my to do list since Saturday:

Groceries

Dress for wedding

Get pants taken in  (pick them up Thurs – a whole dress size smaller.  Thanks Gall Bladder!!!)

New make up bag

Find Passport!

Laundry

Get Rhino to finish laundry room before leaving

Pack Rhino’s bag for Monday (yes, I pack his bags…..)

Kill the wanker before going to Nashville as they have the death penalty and I’m not clear on extradition policies.

Post resume on Workopolis and Monster

Apply for 2 jobs at the University

Travel toothpaste, soap, shampoo, conditioner, qtips, bandaids.

Make arrangements for mail and newspaper

Put garbage out before leaving for airport

Arrange ride to airport

Blog

Necklace from Mom

Colour hair

American money

Included but not noted:  Working everyday at the office and Wed, Fri night and all day Sat at the pub.  Dinner with my Mom Thursday night.  Lunch with an old friend who is not well Sunday.  Little insane over here.  But did you notice laundry room completed was crossed off?!?!  Behold the beauty of my washer and dryer no longer being in my kitchen:

 

Who cares if I have no passport, ride to the airport, grey hairs or food in the house.  I have a laundry room:)

6 Comments

My porch

July 10, 2008 at 8:26 pm (Rhino)

Last week when I was off it become quite clear to me that I was not using my front porch to its full potential.  Other than a sad looking hanging plant and a welcome mat – nothing.  The view from my front porch is an unobstructed look at Lake Ontario, with Toronto and Niagara Falls skylines in the distance.

Due to the area, there is quite a lot of foot traffic and I tend to not want the distraction when I’m outside reading a book, enjoying a drink or blogging on the laptop.  So, I have made my backyard a welcome retreat of tranquility.

The gardening is all my Mom and Rhino.  I kill everything.  And notice the no grass?  That was the best decision I ever made.

After complaining about my sad porch all week and not doing anything about it, Rhino took it upon himself to spruce it up.  This is what I came home to this afternoon…

Plants!  Furniture! 

Maybe if I start moaning endlessly about the basement not being done yet he’ll get that finished too?  Before he leaves on Monday?  I mean come on – my washer and dryer have been in the kitchen for a month now…..

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Defintely a hump day

July 9, 2008 at 11:17 pm (Stuff, Wonder Boy, Work)

Had the pleasure today of dealing with one of Ontario’s less than stellar health practitioner’s.  Today was the day to have my stitches removed and can I just say – it facking hurt.  I’ve had a lot of stitches / staples removed in my 38 years on this Earth and nothing like that.  The health practitioner’s comment – “Suck it up and stop being a baby.”  Love free medicare.  It’s definitely a “you get what you pay for” situation these days.

In the food arena, I have managed 2 pieces of toast with peanut butter, 2 individual yogurts and a salad.  I know this sounds like nothing but when you’ve been surviving off 500 calories a day for over a month – this is what’s filling.  And nothing hurt!  Oh, and a coffee!!!  I have missed my coffee.  So have my co workers:)

The wanker still refuses to find the time in his schedule to discuss my flex time in lieu of a raise, so I have just started coming in at 8am, working thru lunch (the norm) and leaving between 4 and 4:30.  Nothing has been said and I’m 3 days in.  I’m beginning to think he’s a little passive aggressive.

I leave for Nashville in 11 days for our Convention.  I hate this time of year.  Swamped with last minute stuff, daily workload, trying to get everything together to go, planning…too much!

And a priceless WB moment.  He called me at work and the following leaves me slightly afraid for his future:

WB:  My phone won’t turn on.

Me:  How are you calling me then?

WB:  From my cell (inferred “DUH”).

Me:  But you said it wouldn’t turn on.

WB:  It won’t.  It’s gone wonky.

Me:  If it won’t turn on, how are you calling me from it? (thinking either I’m dumb or he is).

WB:  UGGH.  From my cell.  It wouldn’t turn on even though I kept pressing the button.  Then it did.

Me:  Did you punch a different button the last time?

WB:  ……oh.  Maybe.

Me:  I told you not to spend so much time out in the heat without a hat.  Go sit in the shade and drink some water.  And maybe ask one of the 6 year old kids to show you how to turn on your phone.

WB:  No love.

Me:  Miss you.  Or not.

6 Comments

The one where I risk legal action

July 8, 2008 at 1:12 pm (Family, Rants)

We have a new nickname for WG’s “mom”.  SkankyAssHo (SAH) compliments of Jen.  I do love Jen’s ability to be snarky.  You will soon learn how fitting the title actually is. 

I have refrained from blogging much about the on going legalities of getting WG to our house permanently in fear of backlash.  We have a signed agreement that has cleared the courts, so I am free to say what I please.  I also have permission from Rhino to vent on line.  I do believe that’s because he’s tired of me losing my shit on him.

First, the SAH showed up at WG’s grade 8 graduation in a leopard print slip dress with spiky heels.  She’s my age (almost 40) and has that overly tanned, too many vodka’s look about her.  She then proceeded to paw at Rhino and touch him through the entire ceremony and reception.  Didn’t matter what he did to uncling/claw from her, she was like Paris Hilton in front of a hand held video camera.  I was apparently transparent that night.  And to think I went to all the trouble of getting purty.

Apparently, SAH thought by reconnecting with Rhino, they might actually “reconnect” if you get my drift.  And the rock on my left hand and our cohabitation doesn’t seem to be a deterrent.  We are receiving calls at any given hour for and not limited to: car battery, plumbing issues, locked out, drunk and needs a ride home, lawnmower will not start, etc.  You get the drift.

Unless it directly pertains to WG’s well being – Rhino declines.  The 2:15am call from a bar because she was too drunk to drive home (thank god for some living brain cells!) - WG was already spending the night and I told her to call a cab.  Then turned the ringer down.

Her requests via her lawyer are laughable.  She wants 13 years of back child support.  For a child she hid from it’s father.  She expects to be rewarded for inexcusable and abhorrent behaviour.  Seems the sky is purple and raining $100 bills in her world.

We have settled on paying her 3 months of back mortgage payments, 2 credit card bills and the remaining 13 months of car payments.  I feel we’re being too generous but on the same hand would sell my house to get WG out from under her.  The woman is caustic and unhealthy.  I wish I could have some sympathy but I don’t.  She has no hidden deep dark secret.  She is not having mental issues.  She is a self absorbed, petty individual who only sought out Rhino so as to cash in on her child.

I would like to note here that she has a full time job at which she makes the same amount of money I make working 2 jobs.  If I can pay my bills, so can you SAH.  I also manage to supply food, recreation, clothing, a University education and one on one time with my kid.  It can be done so stop the whining.

The SAH parents are normal.  Scary normal considering what they produced.  WG’s Grandmother has already called me to introduce herself and to ensure they can still see WG.  As the relationship appears to be healthy and WG has expressed nothing but love for them, I assured her they would be no issues.  Something tells me these people are actually happy that their granddaughter is being taken moved away from their daughter.

Regardless of the drama, WG is coming to live with us as of August 23rd.  Permanently. 

WG is currently at WB’s camp and will be for 2 more weeks.  Then she is off to an Aunt’s in Bala for some R&R with cousins she loves and an Aunt and Uncle she can’t talk enough about.  We are going to co ordinate some days in between for decorating decisions on her room and shopping expeditions for accessories.  Official move in date is set and I can’t wait.  Finally someone to watch chick flicks (my secret love) with…sigh.

I just looked at my calendar and realized I have one teen moving in on the 23rd and one returning home to pack up his life and move on to his future on the same day.  Did not plan that emotional breakdown well now did I?

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Highlights from my week of recovery

July 7, 2008 at 8:03 pm (Rhino, Stuff, Work)

  • Popped two stitches on Tuesday and lost 4 hours of my life in the ER while they called the Hospital I had it done in and debated whether I had to be readmitted.  A one point I offered to sew myself back up if it would speed things along.  And can we say, Rhino not good when it’s my blood.
  • Tried a baked potato with some butter.  Felt like I had a cement brick in my stomach for 4 hours.
  • Thursday started feeling nauseous whenever I ate.
  • Friday went into the office for 3 hours.  It was like I had left a bunch of teenagers alone for a week.  Place was a disaster.
  • When Rhino picked me up at noon, he had packed me a bag and we were off to the cottage for the week end.
  • Spent the week end floating on a raft in the lake, sleeping in a hammock and generally being a bum.

Back in the office full time today.  Sooo wish I had booked 2 weeks off. 

As an added surprise, the wanker chose today to have my review.  It was fifteen minutes of how wonderful I am, how he could not see the office or Canadian division running smoothly without me, blah, blah, blah.  Then the kicker.  No raise.

So, trying to be a responsible adult I asked for another week’s vacation or flexible hours in return for no increase – not even the cost of living.  Didn’t even raise my voice.  Response – nada.  So, I am officially on the job hunt.  If you know of anything in the Toronto, Oakville, Burlington area let me know.

9 Comments