Go ahead, laugh. I know you want to.

May 31, 2007 at 1:44 pm (The comedy act that is my life)

The last 24 hours prove that I have a inordinate amount of bad karma to work off.  Or the vodoo doll my ex has of me is finally working.  Either way, it ain’t lookin good – you might consider keeping your distance.

2:00 pm – I break my 3rd pair of sunglasses this year and its only May 31st.

3:30 pm – My computer did not just die in the middle of doing a 60 page PowerPoint presentation.  No, come on, reboot.  I saved it right?  Please, please let me not be that much of a nimrod. (banging head on desk)

4:06 pm – It’s official, I have killed my 4th computer since starting here 14 months ago.  And that presentation?  Gone.  Bye Bye.  IT department is in awe of my computer annihilation abilities.  You soo know I’m the joke at their Friday night get togethers at the local watering hole.

5:15 pm – Total stranger on the bus spills their Tim Hortons Ice Capp all over my new tan capris while the asshat busdriver is trying out for Indy 500.

6:10 pm – Purchase new inexpensive sunglasses and while switching out my glasses, drop the expensive perscription pair I need to see and proceed to step on them while trying to pick them up.

6:45 pm - Decide to make myself a gin & tonic before tackling the laundry.   A little present to me for such a crap ass day.  Upon opening freezer discover water filled trays – no ice.  Fridge is busted – again.

2:46 am – Dreaming of hanging out around a campfire, only to awake to the smoke alarm going off!! In my panic, I leap from the bed, catching my left foot in the blankets and landing hard on my right foot – sideways.

2:50 am – Cursing and swearing, not to mention hopping on one foot, follow smell of smoke to a/c unit in living room.  No fire, but obviously the $125 I spent to have it in perfect working order for this summer was a waste.

3:10 am – Right foot now twice it’s normal size and every colour in the rainbow.  No ice packs to apply (broken fridge), so immerse foot in bucket of ice cold water.  Fall asleep on couch.

6:20 am – Wake to alarm going off in bedroom.  In rush to shut it off before waking Wonder Boy, forget about foot and pail and fall to the floor, spilling water everywhere.

6:35 am – Just about kill myself trying to shower on one foot.  Contemplate scaring Wonder Boy for life by asking for help.  Decide to hold onto the towel bar and shower rod while hopping out of shower.  Catch hand in shower curtain – rip off 2 hooks.

7:05 am – Have to tolerate Wonder Boy laughing hysterically at me, as I can’t chase him to beat him and he knows it.

7:08 am – Only shoes I can get my foot in are flip flops that have monkeys drinking margaritas all over them.  Thank god no mgmt is in the office today.

8:20 am – Miss my mouth entirely while taking a drink of coffee.  White shirt now has stain shaped like Florida over my left boob.

11:45 am – Realize I have forgotten my lunch and there is no way I can hop over to the Boston Pizza down the road.  Everyone else has gone for the day.

1:20 pm – Snap the arm off my back up eyeglasses.  Am still wearing them, if only so I can type this up for your enjoyment.

2:33 pm – It is officially 35C (95F) outside.  Yum, smelly busride home.

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Aunts rock

May 29, 2007 at 8:23 pm (Family)

First I want to thank Mooselet and Klely for their support and suggestions from the last post.  I was emotional and pissed off when I wrote that post yesterday.  In hindsight I should have spoken up at the appointment yesterday, but the emotional part of me is still trying to process everything and I’m trying to “keep it together” in front of my Dad.

My aunt took my Dad for his blood work, pee in a jar, etc tests today before his admittance to the hospital for surgery on Monday.  I had called her last night to relay the info we had received and to vent.  I made sure she would promise to stick up for him.  I don’t know why I was worried.

Apparently while my Dad was being poked and prodded, my Aunt went in search of the Dr from yesterday.  And when she found him, asked him to come with her to see my Dad.  When he refused, she reminded him, loudly, in front of the nurses station, that that man from yesterday:  “is my little brother, someone’s husband, my two beautiful nieces father and the grandfather to an amazing young man.  You were cold, clinical and disrespectful to them, young man.  If I ever hear that you have treated them or anyone else that way again I will teach you the lessons you should have learned growing up.”

Apparently she received a couple claps from the nurses and just for the record,  my Aunt is 68, 5′2″, 135lbs and not someone I would ever think of messing with or crossing.  She also firmly believes that she has lived long enough that she can say whatever she wants, when she wants and everyone else can just deal with it.

Thank you Auntie Pat and I still want to be just like you when I grow up.

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Fair warning to all the asshat medical staff out there

May 28, 2007 at 4:49 pm (Family, Rants)

I know we’re blessed up here to have Universal Healthcare.  At this moment I can not fathom how we would be paying for the road my Father is embarking on.  I truly sympathize with individuals who can not get the proper care for their loved ones due to Insurance companies, finances, etc.

I do have a right though, as does my Father, to medical personnel treating him as a human being, not a number or another faceless patient.  I sat idly by, seething inside today, as one such individual talked to us as though we were idiots.  Every time I asked a question, or asked him to repeat himself – as I am keeping a journal – he gave that heavy sigh mostly reserved for teenagers and rolled his eyes at me.

My Father is being treated at a teaching / research hospital – which is fortunate – so we will be seeing numerous Doctors and Residents.  I can guarantee the next individual that treats us with such disinterest and disdain will think twice before they ever talk to someone that way again.  You don’t like to deal with people, sit in a lab asshat.

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Enough

May 25, 2007 at 9:43 pm (Rants)

This needs to stop.  I will not shove my beliefs down anyone’s throat but enough is enough.  I’ll be very happy to see Dubya leave office and I hope his successor will get us all out.

 My sympathies and prayers to all the families who have lost a loved one or had a loved one return injured.

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Dear Dad

May 25, 2007 at 7:44 pm (Family)

We haven’t always had the best of relationships.  We have very different views on parenting, politics, my love life or lack thereof, my sister / your other daughter, my step mother, your drinking, etc.  We have gone weeks, sometimes months without talking because I just couldn’t handle the addiction you have to alcohol.  We have gotten better at communicating as both of us get older and have a good relationship at the moment.

You are sick.  Very sick.  If what the doctor said today is true, even with surgery and chemo and radiation we may only have a year or two left with you.

I want you to know that I will be there for you thru everything and whenever you need me.  I will not let past issues cloud our time together and I will cherish every moment.  I will make sure we see more of each other and that you and your grandson spend more quality time together.  I will be the daughter I have not always been in the past.

I love you Daddy and we will fight this together.

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Update, my Dad and other BS

May 22, 2007 at 7:04 pm (Family, Stuff, Wonder Boy, Work)

I realize it’s been awhile, but it’s not like anyone is missing me – so I don’t feel so bad.  Except for the fact that I wanted to stay committed to something, other than the diet that went out the window this long week end and the quitting smoking.

It’s been a roller coaster of a week and this post is going to end up sounding like verbal diarrhea but here goes.

Wonder Boy is home from his trip to Queen’s University and we’re okay after the fight we had on Mother’s Day.  Apparently I scared the crap out of him with how upset I was and he realized he has it pretty good.  So, chalk one up to bad parenting.  Or, parenting a teenager by the seat of your pants.  Either way, I don’t care.

Since he got home Friday night, he has eaten the following:

Fri night:  6 grilled chicken breasts, Greek salad and 2 baked potatoes.

Sat morning:  3 fried eggs, ½ lb of bacon, 6 slices of toast and 1lb of strawberries.

Sun night:  3 burgers, 2 sausages on a bun and potato salad + dessert

The only thing that saved my grocery bill was he was out the rest of the time.  Right now, wondering what was cheaper – sending him away for a week or stocking the fridge for a couple days.  The kicker is the kid’s a beanpole (dark haired boy).

I may be looking for a new job as of tomorrow.  My Dad has been diagnosed with Stage 3 stomach cancer and is scheduled for surgery June 4th.  I am suppose to be in the US on a “team building” exercise the 5th to the 7th and have asked to be excused.  I would rather be close to my Dad then in another country.  My boss is not good at getting back to you in a timely fashion, nor do I think I’m going to be given the time off.  I am past the point of putting my job before my family.

Add in 2 root canals last Wednesday.  If teeth weren’t important, I swear I would tell my dentist to buy his own god damn boat.

I started back at the beginning of April cutting sugar out of my diet.  I gave up the 6 cans of diet coke a day and reduced my caffeine to 2 cups a day – black.  I have been walking home on the nice days at least 3 times a week – 2.5 km.  I lost 12 lbs and then this weekend blew it out the window.  I want to blame it on the stress of finding out about my Dad but it comes down to a lack of self discipline.  This morning, back to yogurt and granola and the cigarettes in the garbage.  Hopefully I can keep to it.

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All I wanted was 3 words…..

May 14, 2007 at 1:02 pm (Rants, Wonder Boy)

Mother’s Day sucked.

Wonder Boy left for Queen’s for a week and we had been arguing since 2am Saturday morning.  So, no Happy Mother’s Day for me, no kiss, no I Love You – just a slammed door and a week’s  cold shoulder.

I love him and I have very little to complain about but as a single mom I have no buffer zone and I hit the breaking point on Saturday night.  Why, oh why is it so damn hard to pick up the phone and say you’re going to be late?  Text my cell if you don’t want to have a conversation in front of your girlfriend.  Just let me know damnit.

He’s stubborn.  I’m stubborn.  Going to be a long week.

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Seriously.

May 11, 2007 at 12:01 pm (Friends, Rants, Wonder Boy, Work)

It’s been one of those weeks, so in no particular order….

To the asshat bus driver who talks on his cell phone while driving and has missed my stop not once but four times so far this week – miss it tonight buddy and I will walk to the front of the bus and slap that phone out of your hand.

To my son:  I did laundry when you came home from your trip on Sunday.  So why, last night, were there 12 shirts, 8 pairs of underwear and 10 pairs of socks in the wash?  Dude, you’ve been wearing sandals since Monday!!

It’s not a full moon, so why has every one of my customers lost their ever livin minds?

If you have an issue with me, tell me.  If I have offended, upset or angered you – tell ME.  Do not go to my boss and make it a federal issue.  We’re adults, this is a small office and while I respect you’re upset and I apologized – even though I didn’t say it – I have lost a little bit of respect for you.  This isn’t public school.

To my dentist – seriously, $1300??  At this rate I hope you at least name the boat after me.

To the friend who just sent invitations for her wedding in 8 weeks.  What were you thinking leaving it so late?  And emailing me to tell me hotels would be difficult due to a tournament?  Yeah, already figured that out.  Loving the fact I have to drive 3.5 hours for your wedding and stay 45 minutes away.  Planning people, planning.

To creepy staring guy at the bus stop.  Please find someone new to creep out.  It makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck every morning when you blatantly stand there and stare at me.  It’s impolite and downright rude.

Don’t you kinda get what you deserve when you don’t do a background check?

Love the loonie sized blister from my new sandals.  As an added bonus, its in such a spot, I’m limited to 2 pair of shoes till it heals.  Ugghh.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mom’s out there!!!!

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If you’ve ever lost luggage, you can relate

May 9, 2007 at 8:22 am (Uncategorized)

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Happy Birthday Wonder Boy!!

May 3, 2007 at 1:45 pm (Wonder Boy)

j_t_scan.jpg (picture is from August 2004 @ my Dad’s wedding)

 17 reasons why you are so special.

1. Your big, bright smile never fails to lighten my mood.

2. Your ability to eat enough food for a family of three in one day and still be a skinny minny.

3.  You have infinite patience: whether it be with your Grandmother and anything electronic; small children; me and anything to do with math and science.

4.  Your big heart that makes you volunteer on a regular basis and start your own Youth Volunteer group at your school.

5. Your hugs are the best.  I especially like the way, now that you are over 6 ft, your chin rests on my head when you stop long enough for me to grab one.

6. Your ability to spend longer getting ready than any woman I know.  Dude, how many hair products does one guy need?

7. Your love of school.  That you have willing chosen multiple sciences, languages and math for your courses.  If we didn’t look alike…..

8. Your relationship with my Mother.  I love that you still go on dates with Grandma and have sleep overs and not just because she spoils you.

9.  Your ability to rhyme off every element on the periodic table but not remember to take out the garbage.

10. Your biting wit never fails to make me laugh and occasionally spit liquids out of my mouth.

11. Your capability to forgive me when I put the stupid stuff before the important stuff – you.

12.  Your lack of fear and desire to try everything once.

13.  You are mature and wise beyond your years and yet still the biggest goofball I know.

14.  That we can not go anywhere in this town without girls yelling “Hi WB!!.”

15.  That you still love me no matter the mood, the lack of patience, the random crying jags and the occasional depression.

16.  Your fierce loyalty to and defense of a hockey team that has not won a Stanley Cup in my lifetime, let alone yours.

17.  That you are my son and I could not be prouder of who you have become and the man I know you will be.

Love Mom

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