The tears stop right?

September 3, 2009 at 10:09 pm (Wonder Boy)

Well WB is mostly all moved in to the house for school this year.  I am making another trip tomorrow with odds and ends we forgot or didn’t think about.

The morning started with me flooding the basement while doing laundry and the truck company not having a couple trucks returned last night, so we ended up with a long cargo van.  Queen mattress, couch futon, chairs, table, desk, patio table and chairs, endless paraphernalia not captured in Monday’s trip to the house….disaster.  But we prevailed and treated packing my car and the van like a game of Tetris.  Other than a coffee table and TV, everything made it.

 We did have to go out to the local hardware store for a saw once everything was moved in.  See, a friend offered us a futon frame queen size.  My sister had a spare queen size mattress.  Score right?  Except, the futon frame had arms for when it was a couch, not a bed.  The mattress was literally 2 inches too big.  My idea was leave it, do other things, think about it.  The boys?  Lots of swearing and trying to make it fit.

I came up with the “Lets go buy a saw and saw off the end arm rest.”  So off we went.  Let me just say, when looking for a hardware store in a town your not 100% sure of and your passenger never needed anything but Liquor stores the previous year, it will be a roundabout trip.

So, we  sawed off the ends – hard work that manual sawing!  And the room was put together.  I spent 30 minutes organizing stuff in the kitchen and then WB and I went and sat on the front porch with a beer and talked. 

And then I started crying.  And while he put his arm around me, called me a goof, I realized he may not be coming home next summer.  Will probably get a job up there and stay in the house.  And the next to no face time I had with him this summer?  It will get worse.

So I sucked it up.  Stopped crying, told him I was fine, hugged him probably a minute longer than I should have and got in my car.  and than proceeded to cry for the whole 45 minute ride home.

It’s quite possible WB will not actually live with me again for quite some time.  If ever.

For the record – I am very proud of WB and all his accomplishemnts.  I also know kids grow up and move on.  It’s just hard.  Harder than I thought.  And so I am going to let the tears flow till I’m done.  No shame in that.

7 Comments

Had to request a new password it’s been so long

September 3, 2009 at 12:59 am (Stuff, Wonder Boy, Wonder Girl)

Well if there is anyone out there still stopping by, my apologies for such a long gap.

Summer, hell, life got the better of me.

WB is now done working for the summer and we are moving him back up to school tomorrow.  Truck rented.  A ton of boxes, groceries, small kitchen appliances and 19 yr paraphernalia litters my dining room.  And if your friends with me on Facebook you know I have waffled between smothering him in his sleep and crying the past couple of days.

WG is good.  After a lot of back and forth, she will be living with Rhino this year.  He did want me to have her keep living with me, while he was a couple blocks away and being the door mat I can be I was going to do it.  But turning 40 tends to make you re evaluate some things.  I told him she needed her father.  All the time.  Not part time.  So, Sam is settling in with her father.  Time will tell how that situation plays out.

Work is work.  Spent a week in Orlando for convention and can I just say…why?  Why would anyone live in Orlando in August?  Or plan a vacation for then?  It was ridiculously hot.

So, I am going to make a concious effort to be here on a more regular basis and to visit you all more often.

And how are you guys?

4 Comments

Random updates while I take a breather from life

June 8, 2009 at 8:17 pm (Stuff, Wonder Boy, Wonder Girl)

So, we’re in the process of moving.  Sold the house and bought a ground floor condo with some green space out back I don’t need to mow and a driveway/parking area I don’t have to shovel.  The reasoning behind it was twofold – cut in pay at work, escalating property taxes, university costs and I will officially be an empty nester come September.

I have been painting my little heart out at the new place and slowly moving some stuff in.  I am already very excited about moving in.  It’s still by the lake, lots of mature trees and so QUIET!!  Both WB and WG love it and they still have their own rooms.

But the packing of the old place??  Dear lord we are pack rats.  I never thought so before but I put 7 garbage bags on the curb this morning for pick up.  That’s garbage.  Multiple bags of clothes have already been donated.  WB had shirts that still had price tags on them that don’t fit.  Me?  A pair of size 6 pants in my closet.  Not sure who the hell I was trying to fool but I haven’t seen that on a piece of clothing in quite some time.

WB leaves Friday for Halifax.  The new girlfriend lives near there and for his birthday just past, I bought him a ticket for one week.  So now I’m stressing over what to get her parents as a thank you gift for having him for the week.  A nice box of chocolates just doesn’t seem to cut it.  See cute pic of the couple below – taken St Paddy’s Day:

2581_57775599086_500914086_1643287_2366556_n

She is a super sweet, very funny and intelligent woman.  I heart her already and have really only spent a lunch with her and moving home day from residence.  She is coming to visit us though the short week in August, so hopefully we can get to know each other better.

WG is in full blown exam panic-my life is over-I’ll never get anything done end of school mode.  Between my lack of sleeping and heightened stress levels, WB’s I don’t have to listen to this crap attitude, WG’s hormones out in full force and only 24 hours in a day – we are all getting on each other’s nerves just a wee bit.  Hence….

Another reason why I like the new place -  I’m sitting here right now in the one fully done room – the dining room – in peace and quiet.  I painted two walls a colour called Slippery Rock, the other one Belgian Cream (its open concept).  The baseboards, which are huge, are done in Champagne.  My grandma’s walnut dining room table is in with my new black leather parson’s chairs.  Drapes hung.  Butcher’s block wine rack partially stocked.  And previously requested stolen internet from my new neighbour.

All I need is a bed and I may just leave the kids at the house to fend for themselves.

8 Comments

You thought we were going to pay you for that?

May 21, 2009 at 7:53 pm (Rants, Work)

I need to start this post with the following disclaimer:

**Yes I have a job.  Yes I am happy to still have a full time job that has benefits.  Yes I realize things could be a hell of a lot worse.  Yes I am being a whiner.  But this is my reality to whine about.**

I love my job in the sense that no day is ever the same, I am constantly learning new things and get to deal with a awesome group of people for the most part.

That said, my boss the wanker is a tool and the recent onslaught of cutbacks, pay freezes, etc is enough to make a girl want to just throw in the towel.

A little over a year ago we laid off over 100 people.  As a direct result, my responsibilities increased 50%.  The layoffs occurred right around the time of my annual review.  Needless to say I was not surprised when I was told there would be no pay increase that year.  I sucked it up, enrolled in a couple of University courses and was happy just knowing they would pay me back for that.

Fast forward to two months ago.

We laid off another 35 people.  None in our office as its already a skeleton crew to begin with.  With these new layoffs came job consolidations and some additional new responsibilities.  I was offered a new job, complete with a shiny new title and a whopping amount of additional responsibility.  The kicker?  No money.  Oh, and no more money for school.

There was no option to turn this down.  It was pretty much, “If you can’t do it, we will find someone who will.”  And lets be honest.  I have bills and kids to take care of.  This adult thing sucks monkey balls.

So, I put in the extra hours and worked week ends to get myself up to speed on all the new programs I was responsible for (on top of my already existing job) and thought I had a pretty good hold on everything.  Figured I would suck it up till the new fiscal year and ask for an increase then.  I would have proved I could handle the job and the money sacrifice.

And then the other shoe dropped.  Three weeks ago we found out we had to take a pay cut – 10%.  It’s across the board.  Management and worker bees.

So now, essentially, I am carrying twice the work load since I started four years ago and making just slightly more than when I started.  And I’m pissed.  Frustrated.  Disappointed.  Stressed.

Yes I have a second job but I have that for a reason.  95% of that income goes to pay for WB University costs.

This doesn’t even really have anything to do with money.  It has to do with an overwhelming frustration towards work that I have been carrying around for a couple weeks now.  I dread going in.  Usually have a headache by noon and have been known to come home and bite people’s heads off for absolutely no reason.

I’m just disillusioned and feeling stuck.

6 Comments

Why I cried on Mother’s Day

May 14, 2009 at 10:53 pm (Wonder Boy)

I know I promised office politics today but I’m still working at 11pm from home and just can’t do it justice.  Instead….you get sap.

Since WB moved back home on April 19th from University, the adjustment has been interesting.  And volatile at times.

He is trying to remember that this house is not a dorm room where you can just drop your things, leave dishes out and no one will care.  I have been trying to remember he is an adult who has been living for the most part on his own for 8 months.

Our compromise?  He confines the mess to his room and has successfully located the dishwasher.  I only request that if he is not home for dinner or sleeping elsewhere for the night I at least get a text.  So far I think he has the easier end of this compromise.  I can not shut off my Mom gene.

Anyways, we had had a huge fight the day before Mother’s Day.  About?  No idea now.  At the time?  Considered throttling him.  Granted I would have had to stand on a step stool for it as the lil shit is still growing.

As I personally have no expectations for Mother’s Day, I was surprised by WB.  A card and a gift certificate for a pedicure, along with a gift certificate to the local book store.

The card?  It made me cry.

Card:

Front:  I wouldn’t be where I am today without that mom-like boost from you!

Inside: Yes, even with all my talent, charm and all round wonderfulness, I still needed that little something extra.

Inscription:

At times your “mom-like boost” consisted of you calling me a tool, but at least it got the job done.

Let’s face it, if it weren’t for those kicks in the butt or the hits on the head I probably wouldn’t have turned out the way I did.

You are easily the biggest reason I am who I am and for that I am grateful.  Thank you for always putting up with me and taking care of me.

You have been an amazing mom all these years and you have also been a great friend.  I don’t know what I would have done without you.

Love you tons! WB

PS Think of your gift as a little way to get away from it all when you need a break :)

Maybe I did do something right.

6 Comments

Tidbits from the past 2 1/2 months

May 13, 2009 at 9:49 pm (Family, Rhino, Wonder Boy, Wonder Girl)

Well as most know, Rhino and I split up.  It was not a pretty, rainbows and unicorns break up.  And apparently the definition of break up is different in his world.  Other than communication about WG, as she has continued to live with me for the duration of the school year, there was to be NO CONTACT.

To me, this is pretty self explanatory.  To Rhino this meant calling in excess of 10 times a day; emailing; texting and waiting for me on my front porch at 6:30am in the morning.  This has slowly turned into  “I don’t know why your being such a hard ass about this?  I made a mistake.”  I’m curious to know how the girl he knocked up would feel about being called a mistake?

To say I did not handle this well would be a mild understatement.  At first I pretended I was fine.  Then I started not wanting to get out of bed.  Then the over eating.  And finally…the melt down.

Thankfully I am on the other side of that now.  10 pounds heavier, a few more grey hairs but happy again.  Small price to pay considering I was thinking of marrying him.  Thankfully dodged that bullet.

Rhino has moved back here and is living a couple blocks away.  The game plan is for WG to move in with him for the next school year.  She is not fully embracing this move but knows that her room will always be here for her and that she can stay over whenever.  I have tried to be positive about the move and I do truly hope it works but at the same time it will be awfully quiet around here without the giggling girls, blaring Jonas Brothers (shudder) and clothes strewn around as far as the eye can see.

On top of everything, in March, my son the smart University student rented a house with four other boys for the next school year.  While I realize this is a rite of passage and I am excited for him, the day he called me to tell me they had signed a lease without a single ADULT looking at it made my head explode.  I wasn’t the only parent questioning whether the $15K we had just spent on first year was a waste.  One mother called her son a tool and hung up on him.  She and I are now good friends.

The lease turned out to be simple and straight forward, the landlord a sweetheart.  Collective bunch of horseshoes up those boys’ asses.  But the house was not done causing drama.  The rent is $400 a month inclusive and I decided WB’s father was going to pony up 6 months of rent.  I mean seriously, the man has not paid a dime in child support, nor did he help out with first year.

So, I bit the bullet and called him.  It did not go well.  I realize your probably asking yourself “Did she really think it would?”  And no, I wasn’t expecting a walk in the park but nor was I expecting World War 3.  Suffice it say, we have not spoken in over 7 weeks.  But he did cough up rent – the WHOLE years worth.  Of course when he gave WB the cheques he added the “Your mother apparently can’t afford it” comment.  And you know what?  I don’t care.  He’s paying and its about fucking time.

I promise to be back tomorrow with more…especially the soap opera at the office.

And you know what?  I have soo missed this:)

7 Comments

Well hello stranger

May 13, 2009 at 12:05 am (Uncategorized)

Just a touch base to let everyone know I am alive and well.

The kids are good.  WB is home from University and wearing down every last nerve I have by finding the only job known to man that lets you sleep till 2pm in the afternoon and be done by six.  Tutoring.  Kid is a genius.  WG is gearing up for a play and a dance.  All in all the kidlets are good.

I’m not a hundred percent sure where to start back here as so much has happened since I kind of disappeared.  A lot of it life changing and still being processed.

I’m breaking in a new laptop with this post, so while I figure it out, know I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

If you’ve stuck around – thanks:)

6 Comments

I need to unclutter my head

February 3, 2009 at 4:59 pm (Uncategorized)

First, a big thank you to Badness Jones for the wonderful chocolate and the adorable card.

Second - anyone know how I can add Twitter to my blog??  I don’t know where I’m suppose to be putting things since everything changed around here.

Third - I have a lovely post coming to you tomorrow all about the letter S. 

Fourth – I’m going to Manchester, NH next week for work.  Any suggestions on where to eat at night?

Fifth – Anyone else over winter??????

11 Comments

25 random things about WB by WB

January 30, 2009 at 4:22 pm (Wonder Boy)

**Edited to add this link for Jen!

http://www.hotbuckles.com/licensed-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-belt-buckle-p-1960.html

1. The only reason I’m up so late is because I was finishing a monster of a calculus assignment and biology work.

2. Right now I’m also doing research on Clostridium difficile.

3. I do not carry ninja stars with me, despite what many of my friends assume :P

4. I am starting to consider minoring in math

5. Number 4 indicates I’m either losing my mind or that I have serious faith in the Asian half of my abilities.

6. I have 2 midterms in the span of 3 days starting next Thursday.

7. I had a hernia operation when i was 2 weeks old

8. The fact that I will not be 19 until May 3rd is slowly starting to become a nuisance

9. University is one of the best things to ever happen to me

10. I am a massive, and I repeat…MASSIVE Star Wars fan

11. Due to number 10 I have recently become acquainted with Wookieepedia…Yes, you read that correctly :)

12. I owe number 11 to a Mr. Blair Segsworth

13. The dark side is better

14. I am an only child and am still bitter about never getting the little brother I asked for

15. I have never left North America

16. I have eaten moose, and it was sooo good

17. I am extremely afraid of needles and hospitals

18. I am a massive nerd. Comics, Movies, Cartoons you name it.

19. Batman is better than Superman. No quetion.

20. Physically I’m 18 but my maturity level will never exceed that of a 10 year old unless necessary

21. I have numerous t-shirts with nerdy things on them. (i.e. Atari Controller, Decepticons Logo)

22. I love collecting band shirts from the concerts I go to.

23. I’ve seen Anberlin in concert twice, Alexisonfire twice, OneReublic, Crash Parallel, and The Fray

24. I’ve also seen some awesome opening bands like Vedera, There for Tomorrow and Scary Kids Scaring Kids

25. Right now I’m wishing that calculus class wasn’t at 8:30am :(

11 Comments

No gum for you

January 28, 2009 at 12:32 pm (Stuff, The comedy act that is my life, Work)

I had to go to Dallas at the beginning of the month for a business trip and usually I pack enough gum to last me a month.  Somehow I ran out with a day still left, so I ventured into the gift shop in the Hotel.

As I stood staring at where the gum should be and not seeing it, I finally asked where it was.  The following insanity is what happened.

Me:  Can you tell me where the gum is?

Sales Clerk (SC):  Gum?

Me:  Yes.  Chewing gum.

SC:  We don’t sell gum ma’am.

Me:  What???

SC:  We don’t sell gum ma’am?

Me:  Are you sold out?

SC:  No.  We don’t sell gum ma’am.

Me:  I don’t understand.  I just want chewing gum.  How can you not sell gum?

SC:  We don’t sell gum ma’am.  It’s against the resort’s policy.

Me:  You have a policy on gum?

SC:  Yes, we don’t sell gum ma’am.

Me:  Why??

SC:  Because people spit it out ma’am.

Me:  But I’m not one of those people. 

SC:  We don’t sell gum ma’am.

Me:  Let me get this straight.  I can buy cigarettes, shells for my gun and a beer but I can’t have gum?

SC:  We don’t sell gum ma’am.

Me:  You know what?  Your right.  I can see how my spitting my gum out is far worse than getting drunk, addicted to nicotine and shooting someone. 

SC:  We don’t sell gum ma’am.

Me:  AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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